Just Thinking Aloud

Serenity & boredom are just a fine line apart...

Life goes in a circle, meaningless without a purpose...

Reality is elusive, the moment you think u've grasp it, it slips away;
(Illustrated by catching of the rainbow with one hands... )

Geniuses probably have more problems than a layman... cuz he thinks too much...

A true fren, a companion is all it takes to withstand a world of troubles

Mankind's history is full of regrets, yet we still repeat it over & over...

Forgiving others is not easy; holding is grudge caused bitterness



p/s : Im not being emo... :) Will update more later, when i think of more...

Nov 2010...

Part 1 :

Thinking of changing car...after what happened last week...

Purely coincidence that all these bad stuff coming in a streak or just as what others call 'bad luck' ? Whats gonna be done next? Bath with "Holy water / Flower water"? lol...

Hard to get past the accident that's so damn vivid in my mind... till now, probably able to do an instant replay mentally anytime i wish too... of course, i hope i get past this grey event.. but its gotta take a while to do that + not sure whether there would be phobia after that...

My colleague say... "Think you better not drive after this... dangerous la u..."

I was like.... "Hmmmmm....(long pause)"

Alright... thats for least of worry, worrying part is the process to get the car fix. bloody agents / callman who make making $$$ first priority... don't even know exactly whats the progress like till this day... driving me impatient & agitated with this waiting...

Whats worse is how to deal & live without my ride... how gonna make trips to see her... how to get around .... gosh... back to public transport..

Its a public holiday & m glad that we had our date today :)... just loved it.. the sight of seeing ya...

Thats all for now signing off with some quick updates that are not arranged in an orderly fashion :)

G Nite PPl !!

... ok, this is a continuation from earlier post, abit more...

Here comes Part 2 :

Its like the Harry Potter that i just watched, earlier part, part 1 was the hanging part.. and this is gonna be the 'climax' :) Even though im kinna lazy to update fully and cant recall everything at 1 go.

Since somebody has DEMANDED then no choice eh.. thats what happens when ur in wanna make that someone who u care alot... there are days that what u think and what u want dont matter that much after all if that person is not that to share it with u... some days no matter how shitty ur day is, that someone's smile will be all that matters... No words needed to be uttered.. and ur day arent that bad after all cuz at least u know there's always gonna be that support when ur needing it...

Coming back to my deliberation on changing car...in case, you already know, its cuz i've got involved in another accident... 2nd time this yr, in a span of 2 months plus? Sigh... i think i am aware what actually went wrong & perhaps it could be avoided? Anyway, its past... no point looking back..

Some since its an accident, did lots of research about procedures on how to go about doing the claiming & stuff... read through lots of webpages, consulted lots of ppl who had hell alot of differing opinions and mostly clueless cuz not been in that situation before.. and seriously i wasnt even bothered to find out more about this earlier on cuz it never occured to me that this would really happen... so to all you folks out there who are driving, my advice is get to know ur stuff well.. know what to do when these things happened... nobody wants to get his car crash & get tolled off, but shit happens at times... and sooner than u except it, its already there ...

Ok.. so I'm gonna be without my car for like at least 3-4 weeks, could be longer if those idiots delay the process.. thinking of it makes me ticked off... but nothing much i can really do... and yeah, i was thinking bout corruptions ... (perhaps totally random) but cuz of corruption... every party that is involved after a crash / accident is trying to suck out as much profit from each other... business is always about exploitation i agree... and starting from the callman, toll truck guy, mechanic, police, JPJ, adjustors & whoever that is guilty in this...without corruption, nothing goes smoothly... they wont even give a damn... with corruption comes another set of problem though... but in the end.. all i hope for is getting back my car in its original state before the accident ASAP.

This wait is killing me... gonna have to miss seeing her and public transports arent that ideal here either (probably already telling me not to go thr...), knowing its gonna tough on both of us... do hope that can really bear up... its always a case that is easier said than done... (applies for most of things in life... )...

But wait for it k? I m sure things gonna be quick... exams around the corner as well.. so hopefullly this gonna help me distract & focus on the more important things... with this distraction, keep time passing faster and cut all the agony of expectations & waiting...

So far thats all for now :).. brain cells arent functioning so well.. *Winks*

Changes : Am I Ready?

A fren once said : "The hardest part of ending is to start again... and whr do we begin? "

Technically its not like the end, its something more minor changes... in general its inevitable, thats life... anyway, what am i worried about? its gotta be related to work as usual, nothing much can be done to take the mind from it when at least 8 hours of life revolves around that...

Small changes : Different seating arrangement

Big changes : Uncertainty of the future (general...)

So lets talk about seating arrangements, I'll be moving to a new seating + SMALLER table... thinking whr the hell to fit all my stuffs... the new table gotta be at least half the size my current 1... anyway, gonna miss my usual colleagues who are happenings ones...

Bigger picture, its already end of October,2 months from now.. its a brand new ... everyone talking about resolutions & all that crap... ok, to me, it wont really work unless ur really discipline in doing it...

In regards to work, target gonna increase for sure, what accounts stay, what accounts given to charity, thats yet to be seen.. but one things for sure... wont be that great... KPIs.... bla bla bla...

Waiting for someone to smack me from the back... then that would be the green light for "gerila attack" :D... bring it on ppl !!

Just a short update

Just a short update on whats going on right now...

So as i mentioned earlier "After a storm is a rainbow", now it seems that the storm has kinna subsided slightly and over the horizon is the rainbow =p.. just a glimpse of it...

Its like light at the end of the dark tunnel (ok.. that was un-neccessary).. :)

So i fixed my car at this "Mudgut" guy who does "Ketuk Kereta", and its in KLANG, it was awesome job done, price was reasonable, unlike the guys who i went to asked back in kl... which were totally unhelpful and asked me to change the whole bumper anyway... alright, so much for the ranting...many thanks to SOMEONE's recommendation, that part is Kaotim... The phrase of "Belum cuba belum tau... sudah cuba hari hari mau" = D, (Pls don apply this out of context)

Motorcycle guys that didnt get himself killed gave me a call, wanted to settle the unsettled... so still in discussion process but at least some progress..

And this month target, thank goodness hit. That I must say is with some luck & i m grateful for it.

Okie... this is dedicated to you know who went ur reading : "Somethings are out of my control k? But I ll always try to make sure that things will be better.. at least I try :)... so don get upset ya... and have more confidence in urself.. In you i beliveve !'

Thats all for today folks :) Goodnite.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going...

I realized... somedays...bad things just happen altogether... they don't come in a orderly queque....and thats bad... and it just get worse at times...

Not to say that I m totally going through like a bad patch of life... its call the thing that happen in life... nobody wants these things.. but we know at some point or another.. it will just be there to bug ur life.. and you have to get over with it..

Thats my plan... hopefully its gonna be better and not for the worse =p... well, its a mixture with good things along the way as well.. which is a consolation i presume...

And i thought fit & timely that i start to do some self improvement myself, trying to improve skills, knowledge and understanding... else, i ll be a left out.. already feeling the effect...

Problem is : Where to start and how to start ? lol...

I m tough ya.. and i m getting going...its just the beginning...

She.... was what i was thinking about...

That day i was thinking... thinking about her... I noticed that she has changed... And something about myself too... that i ve changed.. slightly... for her...

I've always like the way she smiles, very sweet smile... her grin makes my heart warm... perhaps she didnt realize that she is beautiful... with a pair of very big eyes... double eye lids... and cheeks that i like to peek on the sides every now and then...

I m thinking this is a mixed feeling cuz I miss her... want to be seeing her right now... and when i realized this feeling is subconscious... i feel that i love her more & more day by day... that i don know how or what would happen if she really left...

I mean we cant tell the future as I as say to her... but its something that i am indeed afraid to think about.. and hope will not happen... i m touch by her... that she even though being very stubborn at times, i feel that she is also trying to make herself a better gf... but i don think perfection :):)... cuz she's perfect... i feel her sincereness.. it touches my heart...

People look at appearance ... perhaps that is through to everybody...but for me...it doesnt matter if u don go on diet :) Really, as long as u don go hungry.. thats all fine with me... and seriously our 'fren' who went on diet is too thin... and i don know how to react to it either....

Erm... this post is kinna spontaneous... but it does kinna sum up what i feel right now towards u...ILU :):)

Main stream media = basket full of lies...

Main stream media = basket full of lies...

Some days, i seek for more information through means of surfing on the internet... The more crap you get each day... I am implying matters regarding this "Boleh-land"... Every aspect that you look into, you can only see things getting from bad to worse... You do the comparison urself.. looking at pure facts & seeing it with an open mind.

One might argue... we have quite a great deal of development... KLCC, Sepang... isn't that enough of waste of taxpayers $$... (And yeah, I'm paying tax... i can rant all i want...)

Every topic that you might look into just cause anger & rage to boil... Ignorant people, selfish inclinations, so full of themselves... changes has to occur.. and it arent just about the ppl... its about the thinking, upbringing, attitudes.. boils down to the core value of us as the people in this land...

Just to pen down ... part of this dis-factory feeling that keeps me fill with anger on this cool Sunday nite (00.00 AM)

Its raining... heavy... storm seems to be brewing... its the same with ppl here... 13 May ??? ...

Good nite ppl !!

I think i have the lameness of the highest level

Just a short updated cuz I want to update :)

I m lame & in case my readers don't already know.. i m lame

Smile & Wave Boys... :)

Updating my blog again... this month like abit active eh =p... seems like updating a diary actually.. but its ok la...

Things were much more better today, can smile more :)...Glad SOMEBODY more happy... happiness is contagious... but works boring, seemed abit lost at work though.... not to mention that today was gonna be awesome morning to stay snuggled in bed... it rained again !! 2 days in a row.. and in the morning...

Sales is moving ... which is surprising.. hopefully it stays that way... else the pressure will be on me... different kind of pressure from studying in school and in college... datelines & exams... those were killers.

So, managed to contact this Creative Director which happened to be attached with RAPP... planning to fix an appointment to interview her, get some biodata kinna thingy... For ur assignment babe :)... Have a feeling it'll turn out well... but her profile in linkedin is pretty intimidating... but i think we're all good, just need to find the right time to fit her schedule...

So ya... overall mood today is quite good :)...

"Just smile & wave boys..." - Skipper the Penguin, Madagascar...

An update

Its 10.30 pm... I had some emotions or maybe some thoughts.. suddenly felt like blogging a little.. just a little...

Today's a Monday... didnt get out to a good start.. was late for work... mood while reaching the office wasnt ideal... but didnt last so long...

Felt kinna relieve that I had some guidance and advice after speaking to some ppl about what happened 2 days ago... i realized its not a big deal.. but obviously when its the first time you go through stuff like that...i guess its natural..

So i figured out how to kinna put this issue to an end.. gave the guy a call and further negotiations to get down to business, talking about the costing ... hopefully it wont cost me a bomb... getting some stuff planned in my mind.. what to do ... who to ask... when to take leave... bla bla bla...

This is relatively settled... but i have something else troubling me... feeling that its becoming a distance... but frankly speaking, I really wounldnt take it to heart... hugz would be good now i assumed... a real warm & big hugz...

Oh well, and another thing... i think i m a nerd...but i haven been reading much lately, gotta do something about it... ( this is random... but thats how i feel ), perhaps its just a confused feeling within me that shows itself in the form of this confuse state of thoughts...

Not sure when will be the next update.. but that's all for now I guess...

Good nite peeps !!

I'm shaken-ed !!

Its 2.00 am... just reached home, washed up & took my shower...

I m feeling kinna weird... shaken by what actually happened a few hours ago...seems like so many things happen within just less than such a short span...

This is the first time I got involved in a such a thing... and definately hope that it will be the last...anyway, if ur still wondering what's that first time thingy... well, its cuz i just got involved in a traffic accident...i mean those incidents like knocking the pole, hitting the curve of the road while driving... those are no big deal... am such everyone wont be able to avoid those stuff...

This accident that i got involved wasn't such a big issue ... [nobody died :( ]... OK so, this happened after dinner... all was fine until after dinner... and it was 9 pm the day before... i think....

Everything happened in just a split second... until now it still puzzles me... i mean... i think nobody was really right... or for that matter wrong... it was a head on collision, the road condition sucked to the max... pot holes all over made you think that you were probably on the surface of the moon... ok... and err no street lights... Worse thing is that I wasnt even sure if the 'victim' who i knocked was having his headlights on... anyway, he was riding...just in case you were curios...

So...every 5 min, i have this flash forward images of how these things occurred and yet i cant seem to be able to recall what exactly happened... and ya.. when the crash occurred...I began to panic... for a moment i thought this must be a dream... but then i realized its for real, the guy is laying on the ground... To the clinic we went, followed by the police station...

Anyway... its a really messed up experience... really disturbing actually...

Believe it or not... I was just thinking to myself the very same day that I am very lucky not to be involved in an accident so far...was thinking of what a fren told me: "During ur first 2 yrs of driving... Its ur most vulnerable period...chances are u're deemed to get involved in 1.. but just make sure you don get involved in a real serious 1..." These words still kicking me from within... few hours passed from now...

Actually its not just the accident itself that got me this mixed feelings within me...how do i put it... so many things going on in my mind even i m confused... Here is 1 of it... I m not very sure if I did the right thing, as in how i settled the issue with the 'victim'...

Here's my logic : "Ok fine... he did suffer more damage... physically + motorcycle damage" "My damage is my car's gonna need fixing, I paid for his medical, lorry to get the motorcycle over to the police station.... now he wants me to pay for the cost of repair for his bike...(half of it - is that suppose to be a consolation? ) and not even sure if I will get the 300 bucks police summon...

I am just writing it here cuz I really feel like speaking to someone.... so much in my mind right now... really have to let some go.... I m thinking a real holiday to keep my mind from everything will be nice... really awesome...

I also need to apologize to you... cuz you know i m hard headed when it comes to making decision, even though its not really the wisest of choices but often have my own 'reasons' or excuses as you may put it to justify myself...but rightfully, i am not sure if i'm right or wrong...i know and feel ur concern... its just that everything happening, happens real quick & i.... i just don't know...

I guess after writing abit here.. I am slightly relieved...

Hope i can sleep ... and i think i already have a phobia...

Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna

This song been playing on & on in my mind... Just keeps stuck thr...


Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Here is the MTV :


Enjoy... :)

Some Updates

This is just to reaffirm that life is never fair..

Never was, is not right now & will never be...

I am hoping that in the next 10 yrs to come... I will have to force to eat back my words... but anyhow... work is piling up...

Not all that bad, depending on which angle you look at it... more target = more stress = slightly more income, thats provided you hit your target..

Everyone is a fresh page, comes 1st of the month... sales target set, gotta start from zero right again... And it aren't refreshing either with latest turn off events which sees office politics (A to Zee.... needless for me to elaborate...)

College is its same told story... classes, course works, exams... soaking up all the stress & feeling it.. Assignments due in few days time & i just barely started (case of de-generative brain cells or pure laziness? :D)

Uttering the statement as above does not exactly mean that I am really disgruntle or unhappy... but i wonder at times... "what if... "

So many 'ifs' and some many 'buts'.... but it still comes down to this... Like it or not... things don't change if u don't try to change em'...

Clearing my emails during the weekends..

Came across that I suppose my Malaysian frenz who get it :D

Enjoy!


British English vs. Malaysian English


Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.


WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: No stock..

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hello, who call?


ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me.

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Malaysians: No need lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?


WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: No need shy shy one lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysians: Don't want lah.


IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Malaysians: You mad ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU..
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?

Malaysians: See what, see what?


WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment..

Malaysians: Die lah!!


WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Malaysians: What happened ah? Why like that one lah?

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.

Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?

Malaysians: Celaka you!

$$$ ....

Obsessed with $$$ all day long these days...

Not sure if its a good or bad sign...

I wanna retired early... thats the plan... :) Dreaming you say?

Dreams are better imagined than those without anything to hope for...

Have the mood to update the blog earlier so this blog basically spills thoughts on my mind... But being lazy as usual... I decided that this will be all I spill today !!

Its been a while....

Its been a while since i last update...

This is more like a shoutout... I've been busy... Too busy to notice ppl around... Too busy to be bothered... Too busy to notice...

Its like driving ur vehicle at 220km per hour on the highway during the nite.. without the streetlights....

Its a straight road... heels on the gas paddle....

You start slowing down... looking at the signboard... its like a journey that has gone all the way for a whole looooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg year...

Tiredness creeps in... boredom too accompanying... you look to you left & to ur right... you realized things changed..

Changed so much... so much... I look to myself in the rear mirror... i see ....

I see..... seeee....

And I look up the sky.... its a full moon... serenity indeed....