Heavy Shoulders

So many things has happened this year...till this point of writing nothing but memories left behind, past un-rewindable... Going through the motions... feels like I'm quite lost? Getting tired of the burdens on the shoulders though... how long can i last? I dont need to have a silver / golden spoon in my mouth, i just want to be able to live my life... not having to worry for everyone... Putting that maturity that I wasnt even ready to take on... Some days I wish I was alot more selfish, to just let go off everything... but I could be able to live my self in that guilt... Conscience still in place after all... All these mess is giving a headache too...arghhh

光良 [太天真] (English Translations : Lryics Included)

Too naive...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ammw9z_-0Vk&feature=g-vrec

I knew this was too truth but I thought exceptions happens...

今天的天空怎么会特别的蓝
Why does today's sky seem exceptionally blue?
我怎会有点感伤
Why do i feel slightly sad?
一个人悠悠荡荡
Swaying leisurely alone...
 
没有特别方向
without any direction
一幕一幕的过往
remember thoughts after thoughts / scenes after scenes
还舍不得遗忘
which seems unforgettable
不知觉又走到这个熟悉海岸
unknowingly reaching to a seeming familiar beach...
 
假装你在我身旁
dreaming that you were beside me...
海浪亲吻着沙滩
waves washing against the banks of the beach,
为我制造浪漫
creating the one imaginary romance 
你曾说一起去流浪
that you once mentioned that we would 'drift away' together
 
流浪到海角另一端
drifting to the other corner of the sea
连天空都在笑着我太天真
even the sky laughs at me being too naive
不是都说好我们不会改变
didnt we agree that nothing will change?
你曾写下的诺言
the promise that you once wrote?
  
我深深刻在心里面
deeply embedded within my heart
等待你会出现
waiting for you arrival 
海枯石烂那天
till the day when the seas run dry & stones breaks...
连世界都在看着我太天真
the whole earth thinks that im too native too
 
不是说好要爱到最后一天
didnt we speak about love till the end?
收起所有的思念
putting away all those thoughts
那是我唯一的眷恋
which were my only attachments
让爱随风漂流 飘向海的另一边
letting my love being blow away by the wind to the other end of the sea
 
习惯了又走到这个熟悉海岸
habitually walking by that familiar beach 
你已不在我身旁
you;re no longer by my side
海浪亲吻着沙滩
waves washing against the banks of the beach, 
我不觉得浪漫
unknowingly i imagined romance
 
不想再一个人流浪
not wanting to drift around alone
流浪着失去了方向
drifting along without direction
连天空都在笑着我太天真
even the sky laughs at me being too naive 
不是都说好我们不会改变
didnt we speak about love till the end? 
 
你曾写下的诺言
the promise that you once wrote?
我深深刻在心里面
deeply embedded within my heart
等待你会出现
waiting for you arrival 
海枯石烂那天
till the day when the seas run dry & stones breaks...

连世界都在看着我太天真
the whole earth thinks that im too native too  
是谁说过我们都不要改变
who was it that spoke about not changing?
你曾写下的诺言
the promise that you once wrote?
我深深刻在心里面
deeply embedded within my heart 

等待你会出现
waiting for you arrival 
海枯石烂那天
till the day when the seas run dry & stones breaks...  
连世界都在看着我太天真
the whole earth thinks that im too native too   
不是说好要爱到最后一天
didnt we speak about love till the end? 
 收起所有的思念

putting away all those thoughts
那是我唯一的眷恋
which were my only attachments
让爱随风漂流 飘向海的另一边
letting my love being blow away by the wind to the other end of the sea

收起所有的思念
putting away all those thoughts
那是我唯一的眷恋
which were my only attachments
让爱随风漂流 飘向海的另一边
letting my love being blow away by the wind to the other end of the sea 

相信你会再出现
believing that you would appear once again...

Second chance

Everyone deserves a second chance, they say...

Probably so... there is where forgiveness comes in?
Keeping the negativity aside, look to the future... nobody can change the past...
Focus on the sincerity & positive side, it'll make forgiving alot easier...

And you never know... probably even forgetting? (Probably not... haha...)

However, not all endings are endings we expect... never know mayb e there is a double climax? just went you thought ... think again... Anyways, if all fails.... then I guess it'll be entirely to the individual...
How long can a leaky heart last? No matter how spacious & un-calculative a person might seem or be...I guess there is a limit... and ultimately the breaking point...

The question is : Is that the BREAKING POINT? 

Good nitez folks !!

Hope to cope with a betrayal

Everyday, we see shit happens & couples get together. Straight forwardly, there could be only 2 kind of results... happy ever after or just break up / divorced.

Why do you think the music industry is doing so well in getting their albums selling so well.. Thats cause emotional human beings... go through this cycle over & over again.... and rarely learn :)

Here is an article that i read, found it really helpful & practical...

1. 1
   Let yourself become emotional, and then let it go. Cry if that is all you want to do. Get the feeling of hurt and anger out of your system. It is important for you to release negative emotions if you want to cope with betrayal. But don't prolong the agony and allow the mourning period to consume you. Get it out of your system and move on.
2. 2
   Set some goals for yourself. Write down all the things that you want to do in your life and accomplish, and start working on making them happen. If there is a career path you wish to pursue, start working toward that. By doing this, you are refocusing your mind on to something that is more important than the betrayal. Surviving a betrayal means setting your mind on building a better life and future.
3. 3
   Find ways to enhance your personal development. Begin an exercise regimen that will not only keep you healthy and fit, it will provide you with an outlet to dispel any negative feelings that surface periodically. Take up a new hobby like ballroom dancing, hunting or hiking. The idea is to find yourself again, build confidence and recognize that a bad situation like a betrayal can lead to good.
4. 4
   Cope with betrayal by finding motivation in inspirational and empowerment books and CDs. Also, spend your time with positive people. If you surround yourself with motivational outlets, then you will be more excited about life; you will be more inclined to put your negative experience behind you and be optimistic about the future.
5. 5
   Understand that the process of dealing with a betrayal is not an easy one to undertake. There will be moments in which you will relapse, but that does not mean that you are failing. Whenever you do feel distressed, turn to a motivational resource, specifically a friend who likes to listen first and then pull you out of your rut. Don't let these moments of weakness consume you, however. They can become emotionally draining for both you and the friend who is there to support you.

Credits : http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Betrayal

To those out there who needs this ... let this be something to gleen & stay strong...

Though words will never be able to describe the terrible feeling entirely 

I'm Dan.

Tragedies : Its a brutal awakening

Imagine yourself in deep slumber, engaged in dreamz that seemed so real... only to be jolted up by a startling loud noise of the thunder...

Awakening from half consciousness to realize how stormy the condition was... 

Yesterday night... was a really bad nightmare... and i wished i could turn back the clock & redo things... 

What happened ytd made me realize that life is really a gift and waking up each day still breathing is something I personally take for granted....

That is until what happened ytd night... I realized how elusive things can be... Its literately like a magic show doing the disappearing act... the only thing is this is for real...and hey, yes i did pinch myself after the 'tragedy'... hoping & yes dreaming.... dreaming for too long...

Im very grateful to GOD for keeping me alive for another day... I take it as a lesson... yes, I need to wake up before its too late... Whats the point of not realizing that it just takes a fraction of a second to undo whatever that was build through the whole lifetime...

A vow has been made & I do intend to keep it... I must...
Time to change perspective... Time to wake up & ride the storm...
Time to appreciate ...
It might be late but never too late to try?

Good night folks... Hope I'll be sleep through the night without having the re-occurring nightmare...

Fuck off

Fuck off... im stronger than that...
Solitude arent that big deal....
Emotions feeds life's flame...
Amongst those on top... anger, jealousy, hatred, passion, love :)
Im  more of the anger & hatred person... so dont mess around ...
Cuz if you're on your the list.. its Kamikaze...

Realizations

Realization sometimes just comes at the most interesting places... so when i was doing my business... I can to a realization & concluded that a best way moving on is to just face the problem.

Midst my unhappiness & dissatisfaction about my job & other things...while trying to find the faster & yet wanting the perfect solution, I realized - perhaps I could change things around. I had the power to do certain things, I had the power to not react in a negative manner, I had the choice to slowly learn to realize that life still goes on without us noticing... So, why not make do of what I have currently & push my limits.

Stepping out of my comfort zone is one of the first few steps of the cheese move. Acceptance will be a process that have to come along. This I think is tough especially when its a second nature to a fighter. Some battles are not worth the fight, and bearing up with the circumstances is often harder but likely to be worth while.

I was going through an article on whether changing a job is so much of a calculated risk, and the article made a point that did hit me : Its which job that gives you the best satisfaction and happiness. Career advancement & extra $$ does not equals increase in happiness. Happiness is elusive. This I can testify, which the striving after wind is un-ending.

With much anticipation I am looking forward to a slow but gradual changes & hopefully more happiness in life ? :)