Fuck off... im stronger than that...
Solitude arent that big deal....
Emotions feeds life's flame...
Amongst those on top... anger, jealousy, hatred, passion, love :)
Im more of the anger & hatred person... so dont mess around ...
Cuz if you're on your the list.. its Kamikaze...
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Realizations
Realization sometimes just comes at the most interesting places... so when i was doing my business... I can to a realization & concluded that a best way moving on is to just face the problem.
Midst my unhappiness & dissatisfaction about my job & other things...while trying to find the faster & yet wanting the perfect solution, I realized - perhaps I could change things around. I had the power to do certain things, I had the power to not react in a negative manner, I had the choice to slowly learn to realize that life still goes on without us noticing... So, why not make do of what I have currently & push my limits.
Stepping out of my comfort zone is one of the first few steps of the cheese move. Acceptance will be a process that have to come along. This I think is tough especially when its a second nature to a fighter. Some battles are not worth the fight, and bearing up with the circumstances is often harder but likely to be worth while.
I was going through an article on whether changing a job is so much of a calculated risk, and the article made a point that did hit me : Its which job that gives you the best satisfaction and happiness. Career advancement & extra $$ does not equals increase in happiness. Happiness is elusive. This I can testify, which the striving after wind is un-ending.
With much anticipation I am looking forward to a slow but gradual changes & hopefully more happiness in life ? :)
Midst my unhappiness & dissatisfaction about my job & other things...while trying to find the faster & yet wanting the perfect solution, I realized - perhaps I could change things around. I had the power to do certain things, I had the power to not react in a negative manner, I had the choice to slowly learn to realize that life still goes on without us noticing... So, why not make do of what I have currently & push my limits.
Stepping out of my comfort zone is one of the first few steps of the cheese move. Acceptance will be a process that have to come along. This I think is tough especially when its a second nature to a fighter. Some battles are not worth the fight, and bearing up with the circumstances is often harder but likely to be worth while.
I was going through an article on whether changing a job is so much of a calculated risk, and the article made a point that did hit me : Its which job that gives you the best satisfaction and happiness. Career advancement & extra $$ does not equals increase in happiness. Happiness is elusive. This I can testify, which the striving after wind is un-ending.
With much anticipation I am looking forward to a slow but gradual changes & hopefully more happiness in life ? :)
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
So many things that I want to do but yet so little resources...
Not enough time, not enough capital, not enough energy, cant be at multiple places in a single opportunity...
How good if I had either one which was unlimited...
How good if I had the guts to just dump all, step out of my comfort zone & pursue what I think will make it big...
Anxieties of life ... oh well, good nite folks
Not enough time, not enough capital, not enough energy, cant be at multiple places in a single opportunity...
How good if I had either one which was unlimited...
How good if I had the guts to just dump all, step out of my comfort zone & pursue what I think will make it big...
Anxieties of life ... oh well, good nite folks
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Interview session.... got me thinking...
This is interesting... a new layout to the blogspot that seems very different from the previous that i once knew...perhaps its cuz I haven't been writing for quite abit which is cuz life is super super busy... anyways, nice surprise with the change & in fact i like it... easier to use, clean & straight forward... nice...
OK... so about a week back I got a call while sitting in the office. The number was an unknown one, which i get all the time cuz I give my numbers to my clients. Alright, so i picked the le call & a hunter hunter tells me that he's got a job for me. Abit skeptical on what the employer could offer, i listened on...
So the usual stuff goes by... update resume & send it through.... employer does first round of phone interview screening & hullah....
One week later, I am parking my car at 1Mont Kiara... which is where Im suppose have the interview appt. First i meet the HR & then comes the Country Manager... it was a lengthy discussion where i spent 2 hours of my life : Listening, Asking.... back and forth. Well, if you're wondering how exactly did the interview go? I would have told u it was alright but the discussion that transpired during the interview left me with couple of thoughts :
1. Is age really that much of a concern to an employer?
2. Whats the correct way to attend an interview? As in mindset & attitude....
3. What do I really want to be doing?
4. Which path do i want to head in career advancement?
Well, during the last part of the interview session - I was quite agitated for some reason. The 'country manager' who I thought was ok, trying his part to be not overly formal did pretty ok at first. But coming to point 1, i felt belittled that age was bought into question. Shouldnt experience & track record be the first consideration & not age... because in the end the age would just be a number. Having said that a 30 year old might not be as mature as a 18 year old, just because somebody might be older... they are a wiser cuz its the maturity that counts.
At this point of time, a week has past & I am waiting to see what they have to say and what they have to offer. Either way, there is a plus & minus point about job which if they do offer me... it would be a tough call to make. There is where 3 & 4 comes into the background... Making a decision which potentially steer life's direction accordingly. Till then, fingers cross + just doing the routine "Same Shit Different Day" job.
Good nite peeps !! Just ranting & penning it down in writing...
Friday, April 20, 2012
What if...
Stage of Limbo at this current point of time... questioning every steps leading to this direction... reminiscing the path travelled coming to this path, journeyed a whole 22 years going towards the 23rd. An experience unique & known mostly to myself... which flash of happiness, glimpses of surprises...milestones of life....
Arriving at one of the many crossroads taken, 4 directions as options in general but endless possibilities leading for this crossroad. Wondering back, which all the questions which almost all if not all start with the phrase - "What ifs..."
Well, they say every man is accountable for his own decisions, rewards or consequences on shall pay for that he has done. Knowing right & wrong is judged based on what you know, knowledge & wisdom as they put it... wanting to go ahead with the action & taking the selfish course, which though sinful provides a temporary state of enjoyment.
I think to myself & I am lost... I look at my left to the right and see ppl around me, who do i compare with... who do i want to me.... is that all? Should i be contented? Wanting more is human nature... and putting a goal keeps us focus, because we usually find satisfaction in achievements, beeming with that smile & glow from within. But hey, looking back... now what? what's next?
What ifs keeps playing my mind... like a broken track going on & on & on... its the open ended conclusion of "Inception"...it really troubles the mind i'm telling u if u really think deeply about it... I've been avoiding decisions for a very long time ... Deep down knowing that delaying will not help....
I say i need guidance but guidance reckons a willing heart to be want to take action. Cant I? Will I? Should I?
Darn... even writing doesnt ease the troubling mind....
What if...
Arriving at one of the many crossroads taken, 4 directions as options in general but endless possibilities leading for this crossroad. Wondering back, which all the questions which almost all if not all start with the phrase - "What ifs..."
Well, they say every man is accountable for his own decisions, rewards or consequences on shall pay for that he has done. Knowing right & wrong is judged based on what you know, knowledge & wisdom as they put it... wanting to go ahead with the action & taking the selfish course, which though sinful provides a temporary state of enjoyment.
I think to myself & I am lost... I look at my left to the right and see ppl around me, who do i compare with... who do i want to me.... is that all? Should i be contented? Wanting more is human nature... and putting a goal keeps us focus, because we usually find satisfaction in achievements, beeming with that smile & glow from within. But hey, looking back... now what? what's next?
What ifs keeps playing my mind... like a broken track going on & on & on... its the open ended conclusion of "Inception"...it really troubles the mind i'm telling u if u really think deeply about it... I've been avoiding decisions for a very long time ... Deep down knowing that delaying will not help....
I say i need guidance but guidance reckons a willing heart to be want to take action. Cant I? Will I? Should I?
Darn... even writing doesnt ease the troubling mind....
What if...
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
16 Oct 2011 : 12:05AM
Picture this :
You are sitting in a dark room... there is a light bulk in the hanging in the middle of the ceiling, its yellow gives a weak glow...Its a woodern floor that you are stepping on... you look to the 4 walls, its empty, maybe theres some wordings written on it? Just maybe... but you cant be bother either way...
The window is wide open.. its a clear sky today... no stars, neither is there the familiar moonlight which provides a glimer of glow... You sit down on the couch in the middle of the room, your thoughts start to drift in mid air... You cant recall what you are thinking but it doest matter either ... Your heart's feeling heavy... maybe your're sad? But it doesnt matter...
It starts with the prick or maybe its more than that... its like, a kid who finds out that both his parents have meet in an accident and he's all alone... the closest ppl he has is now gone... gone is like that... Familiar faces, scents & voices.... they come back to you in so vivid that you believed that it was real...
There is a sound... like those that they play during a funeral? Like those that you hear when its accompanied with sobs & sighs....
This time it sounds like one of those songs from Coldplay maybe ? or Snow Petrol... and yes, its hard to explain...and yes, its tears that you feel, moists your eyes and steady forms a tear drop that drips past your cheeks... you feel the saltyness on your lips... it forms a steady line... meeting in the centre of the chin... I wish you were here to wipe it dry?
The music continues.... I think i recognized this song....
There's the instrument playing at the background...He's singing... He's saying something about being happy?
Most of what i remember, makes me sure... i should have stopped you from walking through the door...
One of the song froms - Snow Patrol - "Eyes Open"
- ColdPlay - "Yellow"
You are sitting in a dark room... there is a light bulk in the hanging in the middle of the ceiling, its yellow gives a weak glow...Its a woodern floor that you are stepping on... you look to the 4 walls, its empty, maybe theres some wordings written on it? Just maybe... but you cant be bother either way...
The window is wide open.. its a clear sky today... no stars, neither is there the familiar moonlight which provides a glimer of glow... You sit down on the couch in the middle of the room, your thoughts start to drift in mid air... You cant recall what you are thinking but it doest matter either ... Your heart's feeling heavy... maybe your're sad? But it doesnt matter...
It starts with the prick or maybe its more than that... its like, a kid who finds out that both his parents have meet in an accident and he's all alone... the closest ppl he has is now gone... gone is like that... Familiar faces, scents & voices.... they come back to you in so vivid that you believed that it was real...
There is a sound... like those that they play during a funeral? Like those that you hear when its accompanied with sobs & sighs....
This time it sounds like one of those songs from Coldplay maybe ? or Snow Petrol... and yes, its hard to explain...and yes, its tears that you feel, moists your eyes and steady forms a tear drop that drips past your cheeks... you feel the saltyness on your lips... it forms a steady line... meeting in the centre of the chin... I wish you were here to wipe it dry?
The music continues.... I think i recognized this song....
There's the instrument playing at the background...He's singing... He's saying something about being happy?
Most of what i remember, makes me sure... i should have stopped you from walking through the door...
One of the song froms - Snow Patrol - "Eyes Open"
- ColdPlay - "Yellow"
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